Art by Kaz Nuckowski
Explanation by Andrew Sitko
Mario hopes one day he will rule the Mushroom Kingdom with an Iron Hat. Mario believes that he is the savior of his people and must be in control of the golden coin supply in order to rule.
Bowser wants to conquer and rule his kingdom. Bowser will be the one and only leader of his regime. There is no economic plan in his utopia as all major disputes will be settled in an arena match between him and his debater. He one day hopes for his son to beat him in ritual combat, thus keeping the regime strong.
Luigi voted for Bernie in the Democratic Primaries. He hates Commies and thinks that socialists should “Get a grip.” Luigi thinks Bernie’s SocDem society is utopia as it is still capitalist but is carried by socialist elements. Luigi has 45 followers on Twitter, but is following over 1,000 users.
Is a cop. Votes for what the police union tells him to vote for. Believes socialists have turned his son gay. His personal utopia of a nice house with a family that loves him has been thwarted by his own bigotry.
Wario believes that he should be free to do what he wants. Wario lives in his Utopia, a privatized mining operation with its own security and economy. Wario denies climate change, not because he doesn’t believe in science, but because it negatively affects his profit margin.
Captain Toad is in Antifa. When he saves toads, he explains that there is no centralization of Antifa and it isn’t run by anybody. Captain Toad carries a med-kit to rallies. He is the main enemy of Goomba. Captain Toad says ACAB.
Kaz Nuckowski is a Copy Editor for the Muir Quarterly. They are usually found in Half Dome laughing and encouraging students to share their wit or giving their own suggestions to make everyone else laugh. Never doubt Kaz and their skills because they will surprise you, especially when the spread has a comic open and they are feeling inspired!
Andrew Sitko was recently arrested by the comedy police and charged for Possession of Killer Jokes. This is their second offense following a Grand Larceny charge from January 27th, 2003.
It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people for this subject, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about!Thanks