Volume 25 Issue 2
Area Bus Driver Who Drove Away From Stop Definitely Saw Student Running to Catch Up
Commuter student Ralph Payne was left desolate when they purportedly saw the bus driver in the mirror giving them ‘the bird,’ as they ran to catch …
Local Trash Receptacle Feels Like Absolute Garbage
After getting dumped on Monday, a local trash receptacle reports “feeling like absolute garbage.” “I’ve been carrying a lot of baggage,” the receptacle told reporters, “I …
Local Badass Refuses to Admit He’s Cold
Upon stepping outside into the 59-degree weather, infamous daredevil and renegade Francis Yates proclaimed that he wasn’t even chilly, even when just wearing shorts and a …
UCSD Giraffe Catchers Catch First Giraffe
The giraffe catchers installed in the Eucalyptus Forest unleashed mayhem last week when they caught their first giraffe. Giraffe catchers were installed in 1967 and held …
New Bed and Breakfast “Stay-cy’s Mom” Has Got It Goin’ On
After many months of waiting, I couldn’t be more excited to announce the grand opening of the prestigious new bed and breakfast, “Stay-cy’s Mom.” Run by …
UCSD Now Practicing Communism in Fall Y’all Queue
Incoming students attended their first collective assembly on campus at the RIMAC field for the Fall Y’all music festival on September 23. Students reported that aside …
