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Santa Claus Teams With Jeff Bezos, Can Finally “Watch Who’s Naughty and Who’s Nice”
Due to a global resource shortage, Santa and Bezos are considering employing naughty kids in coal mines.Photo by Maria Dhilla This holiday season, former Amazon CEO Jeff …
UCSD Gets Railed by Blue Line Extension
Khosla announced the opening of the trolley by reading out of Dr Seuss’ One Line, Two Line, Red Line, Blue Line.Photo by Sharon Roth Over the course …
Top 10 Suspects Who Ran Grandma Over
Top 10 Suspects Who Ran Grandma Over Antifa Hypothermia Mariah Carey on a Zamboni Our stepdad Scott on ketamine A moose with no prior criminal record …
Top Ten Holiday Songs On The Radio
Top Ten Holiday Songs On The Radio You’re a Nice One, Mr. Frownch Silent Knight (How Genghis Khan Conquered Asia) No, I Don’t Hear What You …
Top Ten New Sayings
Top Ten New Sayings Where’s there’s a will, there’s a funeral If you can’t join them, beat them You can lead a horse to water, but …
Top Ten Cybernetic Enhancements We Put On Our Body
Top Ten Cybernetic Enhancements We Put On Our Body A blue tooth A confident system An iron gut for digesting Canyon Vista food A titanium pinky …
The MQ Goes to “The Races”
You know how this goes: the horse races. The ol’ equine escapades. The mare-athon. The track and field for big dogs. The mosey for your posey. You get the gist. Everyone knows there are three great aspects of horse racing — the costume, the horses, and the homoerotic tension between you and your rival as the horses you both bet on are neck and neck around the bend…
The MQ Gets Left Alone
We were about to go on a trip with our family, when we were left home alone! And, before you ask, it’s not because we’re forgettable. …
Facebook Whistleblower Reveals the Internet is Still a Giant Cesspool
“FaceBOOK? Kids these days won’t even know what those things are,” complained one spokesperson.Photo by Jack Yang An ex-employee of Facebook has come forward with a set …
It’s Too Soon to Start Playing Christmas Music vs. I Never Stopped
Point: It’s Too Soon to Start Playing Christmas Music By Dr. Bob A. O’Riley Chairman of the Committee for National Holiday Declaration I cannot believe you …
