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ArticlesLocalNews

WAPT Helicopter (Wet Ass Portable Tank) Quenches California’s Raging Fires

Written by: Adian Valdez

WAPT was projected to be slightly more effective than a bucket and a mop.Photo by Sharon Roth A new hero with a peculiar name has emerged from …

Briefs

Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme In what has been described as “quite pleasant surprise,” UC San Diego graduate Kendrick Nolan …

ArticlesLocalNews

Student Fed Up With Quarantine Aiming for 2021 Olympic Team

Written by: Pilan Scruggs

“When I heard that my friend’s roommate was riposting her art, I thought it was just a social media thing. That was, until I saw the …

Top Ten

Top Ten “retro” Items They’ll Bring Back In 2070

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten “retro” Items They’ll Bring Back In 2070 Polaroid cameras, for the fifth time Movies where girls become friendswith horses Vaccines Character-driven plots Snow Apple …

ArticlesNewsTech

Amazon Echo Devices Recalled After Continuously Recommending 2001: A Space Odyssey

Written by: Matthew Miltimore

“I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you watch Netflix or Hulu,” said Alexa.Photo by Jack Yang Following concerns over Alexa’s constant recommendation of Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 film …

Top Ten

Top Ten Similarities Between Halloween This Year and Halloween When You Were Six

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Similarities Between Halloween This Year and Halloween When You Were Six Everyone’s talking about Harry Potter Everyone’s wearing a mask Your brother called you …

ArticlesCampusNews

Local CS Student Experiences Immense Relaxation Following Stress Integer Overflow

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

“Yes, you may have mastered C and C++, but can you see beyond the void?” asked Coren.Photo by Jack Yang After laying in a fetal position, crying, …

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons Why the UC’s Tuition is the Same Even Though You’re Remote Learning

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Reasons Why the UC’s Tuition is the Same Even Though You’re Remote Learning Because they can UCSD blew a lot of money on Skype …

Top Ten

Top Ten Things You Forgot Were Outside

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Things You Forgot Were Outside John Cusack with a boomboxand a trenchcoat Social events you said you were going to go to but never …

ArticlesLocalNews

Local Woman’s Cystic Acne “Actually Says Something Really Nice” in Braille

Written by: Megan Cox

“It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever spelled out on their face for me,” said Funke. Photo by Jack Yang UC San Diego Freshman Ruby Stone has recently …