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WAPT Helicopter (Wet Ass Portable Tank) Quenches California’s Raging Fires
WAPT was projected to be slightly more effective than a bucket and a mop.Photo by Sharon Roth A new hero with a peculiar name has emerged from …
Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme
Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme In what has been described as “quite pleasant surprise,” UC San Diego graduate Kendrick Nolan …
Student Fed Up With Quarantine Aiming for 2021 Olympic Team
“When I heard that my friend’s roommate was riposting her art, I thought it was just a social media thing. That was, until I saw the …
Top Ten “retro” Items They’ll Bring Back In 2070
Top Ten “retro” Items They’ll Bring Back In 2070 Polaroid cameras, for the fifth time Movies where girls become friendswith horses Vaccines Character-driven plots Snow Apple …
Amazon Echo Devices Recalled After Continuously Recommending 2001: A Space Odyssey
“I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you watch Netflix or Hulu,” said Alexa.Photo by Jack Yang Following concerns over Alexa’s constant recommendation of Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 film …
Top Ten Similarities Between Halloween This Year and Halloween When You Were Six
Top Ten Similarities Between Halloween This Year and Halloween When You Were Six Everyone’s talking about Harry Potter Everyone’s wearing a mask Your brother called you …
Local CS Student Experiences Immense Relaxation Following Stress Integer Overflow
“Yes, you may have mastered C and C++, but can you see beyond the void?” asked Coren.Photo by Jack Yang After laying in a fetal position, crying, …
Top Ten Reasons Why the UC’s Tuition is the Same Even Though You’re Remote Learning
Top Ten Reasons Why the UC’s Tuition is the Same Even Though You’re Remote Learning Because they can UCSD blew a lot of money on Skype …
Top Ten Things You Forgot Were Outside
Top Ten Things You Forgot Were Outside John Cusack with a boomboxand a trenchcoat Social events you said you were going to go to but never …
Local Woman’s Cystic Acne “Actually Says Something Really Nice” in Braille
“It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever spelled out on their face for me,” said Funke. Photo by Jack Yang UC San Diego Freshman Ruby Stone has recently …
