Antifa Reported In Larned, Kansas
On the 19th of September locals of the small town of Larned, Kansas reported a mysterious stranger in a fedora and blazer wandering down town square. James Diggs, a resident of Larned, reported, “There was a strange fellow roaming around Main Street. Didn’t talk to anybody, but he was making some ladies nervous.”
Some townspeople claimed that the man was a member of Antifa. Emily Garson, a waitress at Darnhuckby’s Grill n’ Fill, said, “That guy in town is Antifa, I saw him on the news for being arrested for rioting in Baltimore. He stuck a guy with a knife.”
Across the street at the Oily Pig, a local dive bar, patrons explained in more detail. Oily Pig regular Rudy Torres said, “I saw the guy talking on the phone with someone, about making a big deal, moving trucks full of people, talking about over-turning the local election.” When questioned about who the conversation was with, bar owner Randy Hught bellowed, “Soros.”
The mysterious stranger in town refused to comment on the situation before drifting slowly down the street. The interview was ended by a teenager throwing a rock at the stranger, yelling, “Homo!” This assault knocked the hat off the stranger, and the balloon underneath it floated into the air and disappeared into the stratosphere.