Volume 27 Issue 1

ArticlesLocalNews

Coastal Ecosystem Devastated After Gender-Reveal Oil Spill

Written by: Jack Yang

BP has recently defended the Deepwater Horizon spill, calling it “ahead of its time.”Photo by Jack Yang Several miles of coastal wetland in the San Diego area …

ArticlesCampusNewsPolitics

New From the CDC: “Social Distancing Rules Still Apply, Even if You Really Really Need a Hug”

Written by: Megan Cox

Whittman stated: “These pillows are so fluffy, I might not even go back to people after this.”Photo by Jack Yang In a recent press conference, the Center …

ArticlesLocalNews

Local Chef Opens Dessert Chain, OnlyFlans

Written by: Sharon Roth

One dissenter said, “Who would go all the way to a store to get desserts? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for …

ArticlesLocalNews

Instagram Influencer Predicts the Future by Reading Makeup Smears on Face Masks

Written by: Aniela Drumonde

“The spirits are telling me you haven’t been following me on Instagram. Would you like my handle?” asked Welch.Photo by Stephen Lightfoot In the age of Instagram …

ArticlesLocalNews

Molecular Gastronomist Sticks “This Machine Kills Fascists” Sticker on Nitro Foam Maker

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

“This dish is pretty conceptual, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t understand it on the first taste,” said Tenshuss.Photo by Stephen Lightfoot Local Restaurateur Pete …

Top Ten

Top Ten Things You Forgot Were Outside

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Things You Forgot Were Outside John Cusack with a boomboxand a trenchcoat Social events you said you were going to go to but never …

ArticlesLocalNews

Local Woman’s Cystic Acne “Actually Says Something Really Nice” in Braille

Written by: Megan Cox

“It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever spelled out on their face for me,” said Funke. Photo by Jack Yang UC San Diego Freshman Ruby Stone has recently …

Top Ten

Top Ten Institutions More Legitimate Than the Supreme Court

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Institutions More Legitimate Than the Supreme Court The Burger King Court Infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters Three children in a trench coat trying to …

ArticlesCampusNews

Compost Bin for Rotting School Newspapers That Nobody Reads Wins Award

Written by: Tommy Jung

Malkie remarked, “Print media may be dead, but composting is very much alive.”Photo by Sharon Roth Last Wednesday, two UCSD undergraduate students were awarded the American Climate …

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