Volume 27 Issue 1


Coastal Ecosystem Devastated After Gender-Reveal Oil Spill

Written by: Jack Yang

BP has recently defended the Deepwater Horizon spill, calling it “ahead of its time.”Photo by Jack Yang Several miles of coastal wetland in the San Diego area …


New From the CDC: “Social Distancing Rules Still Apply, Even if You Really Really Need a Hug”

Written by: Megan Cox

Whittman stated: “These pillows are so fluffy, I might not even go back to people after this.”Photo by Jack Yang In a recent press conference, the Center …


Local Chef Opens Dessert Chain, OnlyFlans

Written by: Sharon Roth

One dissenter said, “Who would go all the way to a store to get desserts? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for …


Instagram Influencer Predicts the Future by Reading Makeup Smears on Face Masks

Written by: Aniela Drumonde

“The spirits are telling me you haven’t been following me on Instagram. Would you like my handle?” asked Welch.Photo by Stephen Lightfoot In the age of Instagram …


Molecular Gastronomist Sticks “This Machine Kills Fascists” Sticker on Nitro Foam Maker

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

“This dish is pretty conceptual, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t understand it on the first taste,” said Tenshuss.Photo by Stephen Lightfoot Local Restaurateur Pete …


Compost Bin for Rotting School Newspapers That Nobody Reads Wins Award

Written by: Tommy Jung

Malkie remarked, “Print media may be dead, but composting is very much alive.”Photo by Sharon Roth Last Wednesday, two UCSD undergraduate students were awarded the American Climate …



Area Man Screams “Eat the Rich” From His Maserati

Written by: Bri Arce

Cist later stated, “I’m an everyman. I’m paying off my $200,000 car month by month just like everyone else.”Photo by Sharon Roth Midday Tuesday, a male student …


Dear Emily Queue

Written by: The MQ, Aniela Drumonde and Hanaa Moosavi


Fourth-Year Student Looks Forward to 10th “Fresh Start to College” This Quarter

Written by: Dexter Hamilton

Chou asked: “I know my GPA is low, but what are my chances of being able to join CS this year?”Photo by Stephen Lightfoot Local UCSD fourth-year …