Volume 27 Issue 1
Coastal Ecosystem Devastated After Gender-Reveal Oil Spill
BP has recently defended the Deepwater Horizon spill, calling it “ahead of its time.”Photo by Jack Yang Several miles of coastal wetland in the San Diego area …
New From the CDC: “Social Distancing Rules Still Apply, Even if You Really Really Need a Hug”
Whittman stated: “These pillows are so fluffy, I might not even go back to people after this.”Photo by Jack Yang In a recent press conference, the Center …
Local Chef Opens Dessert Chain, OnlyFlans
One dissenter said, “Who would go all the way to a store to get desserts? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for …
Instagram Influencer Predicts the Future by Reading Makeup Smears on Face Masks
“The spirits are telling me you haven’t been following me on Instagram. Would you like my handle?” asked Welch.Photo by Stephen Lightfoot In the age of Instagram …
Molecular Gastronomist Sticks “This Machine Kills Fascists” Sticker on Nitro Foam Maker
“This dish is pretty conceptual, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t understand it on the first taste,” said Tenshuss.Photo by Stephen Lightfoot Local Restaurateur Pete …
Elon Musk Sells Space X after Convincing Flat Earth Video Essay
“It doesn’t matter if you disagree with me,” Musk began, “at the end of the day I’m rich and you’re not.”Photo by Sharon Roth Elon Musk announced …
Automobile Manufacturers Team Up To Make “Car Power Plants”
Automobile Manufacturers Team Up To Make “Car Power Plants” Following Governor Gavin Newsom’s proposed 2035 ban on the sale of gas-powered cars in California, several automobile …
WAPT Helicopter (Wet Ass Portable Tank) Quenches California’s Raging Fires
WAPT was projected to be slightly more effective than a bucket and a mop.Photo by Sharon Roth A new hero with a peculiar name has emerged from …
Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme
Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme In what has been described as “quite pleasant surprise,” UC San Diego graduate Kendrick Nolan …
Student Fed Up With Quarantine Aiming for 2021 Olympic Team
“When I heard that my friend’s roommate was riposting her art, I thought it was just a social media thing. That was, until I saw the …
