Clown Costumes Moved to Sexy Section of Spirit Halloween Sales of clown costumes were up last Halloween, but not for the reason one would expect. With …

Nintendo Accidentally Sues Itself After Remaking its Own Game Nintendo’s legal department recently announced that they will be pressing charges against the creators of “Donkey Kong …

UC Campuses Criminalize USB Drives to Combat Illicit Black Market Dealing Pandemonium swept across campus last Wednesday following the announcement prohibiting the possession of USB drives …

Pro Unreal Tournament Player Reflects on 9/11 Jerry Stern, former professional player of the Unreal Tournament titles, has reflected on the events that took place during …

Acronym Creator Missing in Action Emmaline Young, Doctor of Philosophy, was recently reported Missing in Action as of Thursday, 10:39 ante meridiem. Last seen getting a …

Blue’s Clues Detective Business Fails It’s been 19 years since Blues Clues’ Steve went off to college, and is now announcing a new private detective business. …

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick: A Guide to Becoming the World’s Best Golf Caddy Horace Scope, locally-renowned golf caddy, has begun the press tour …

Trader Joe’s Bag Begs for Recycling A paper bag recently used to carry one bottle of Chardonnay out of a Trader Joe’s is now resting under …

Thoughts from the Hostess Table After being in a pandemic, living in the darkness of my haunted house, and letting my once juicy, voluptuous buttocks decay …

Diversity Hire Brian, 67, Speaks on His Work at Forever 21 Brian Ainsent, who commenced his retirement five years ago, recently began looking for a new …