Articles
UCSD Crane Replaced By Bird
“I’m really worried for the local marine life,” stated Professor Drake. “I saw that thing eat an entire whale yesterday.”Photo by Sharon Roth Residents of Revelle …
March Madness Turns into March Insanity
“I got my final grade from my physics class,” said Riordan. “This is the first time a professor has cheered when I’ve gotten an F.”Photo by …
The End is Near! vs No, It’s Just Acid Reflux.
Point: The End is Near! Doctor! O Doctor! Heed my call, for I fear the end is near! On the ninety-second day of this annus horribilis …
Local Gamer Tragically Latches on to Cool Character in Elden Ring
“I don’t know why my friends are so worried about him getting kilned. He is a pot,” Cano noted.Photo by Sharon Roth Lilith Cano, a 23-year-old …
No, I Won’t Close My Tabs, They All Have Really Important Stuff on Them
You will never get me to close my tabs. Every single one of them has vitally important content. What if I need to reference the WikiHow …
April Fools’ Day Comes to Campus One Month Early, Incites Chaos
“Oh shit, a double April Fools’!” exclaimed one student, who took a bite of Jell-O-encased Geisel and realized it was fruit punch flavored and not strawberry.Photo …
Student Procrastinating at the Beach Discovers the Tides of March
“You’re going to get good news,” remarked Wyrd with her newfound wisdom. “But take care to avoid anything that makes you sad, which could drastically change …
Student Studying Abroad in the Netherlands Accidentally Sent to the Nether
“You know, this isn’t the type of blaze I was expecting,” said Hero, dodging fireballs.Photo by Connor Betterly Before the events of last Tuesday, UCSD student …
Yes, I Am, in Fact, God.
Hello mortals, it’s Me: your God. My name was once Ronald Jameson and I was a student like yourself. Unlike yourself, however, I was a highly-gifted …
Student Finds Four-Leaf Clover on Sun God Lawn, Wins Zoom Meeting With Leprechaun
“Ten more minutes and I’m lepre-GONE,” grumbled the leprechaun.Photo By Julia Wong Earlier this week, third-year UCSD student Stacey Greene was taking a break from her …
