“Ten more minutes and I’m lepre-GONE,” grumbled the leprechaun.
Photo By Julia Wong
Earlier this week, third-year UCSD student Stacey Greene was taking a break from her latest mental breakdown to lay in peace at the Sun God Field when she found a four-leaf clover.
Stacey stated, “I was just lying there, ruminating on the three midterms I failed this quarter, my lack of a love and social life, and how underappreciated my cute outfits go in the lecture halls. As I picked at the clover field upon which my tired head rested, I found one with four leaves! At first I thought it was one of those tricky ones that actually has three leaves but looks like it has four, but I triple-checked it, and even had Sun God take a look for me. Sure enough, it was a lucky clover! I even saw a rainbow as I held my clover up to the sky to admire it. And to top it all off, I also got a Canvas notification that my professor was going to postpone my 5 a.m. midterm to 5:15 a.m. I’m the luckiest girl alive!
“After deciding that this clover was, like, the epitome of good luck symbols, I emailed all my professors asking if I could ‘possibly, if it’s no problem, maybe get some extra credit, or even get to see my quiz answers so I could study better for the next test.’ They said ‘no,’ of course, but I wasn’t going to let that get me down. I chatted with my friends about the situation and they told me I should email Chancellor Khosla to cheer myself up, because even if he didn’t reply, I could bless his inbox with another pointless email just like the ones we get every morning. So I emailed the Chancellor and told him about all my luck, and how St. Patrick’s Day is coming up soon. I also added, as a joke, that if he cared about his students at all he would do something nice to commemorate the moment I peaked in life, because it’s not like he was going to give a rat’s tushy wushy.”
Chancellor Khosla replied, “Hi A17289315, I’m glad to hear about your lucky day on Sun God Lawn. Fortunately for you, I just hired a leprechaun for the office. I like to watch him jig for me on my breaks. Anyway, I know you didn’t exactly find a pot of gold, but I could set up a Zoom meeting for the two of you. It could be just what you need to motivate you to pull those grades up and work on your mental health, because God knows you need that! Your Chancellor, Pradeep.”
Stacey says her Zoom meeting is scheduled for 5 p.m. next Thursday, right after she finishes her MATH 18 quiz. She also says she plans to wear her “best fit” to “commemorate the fever-dream occasion” and will report back on whether the leprechaun is cute or not.
