Articles
Frosty the Snowman Pronounced Dead
“His heart thumpity-thump-thumped until it could thump-thump no more,” said one local child.Photo by Julia Wong Frosty the Snowman, a man made out of snow, was …
We Love and Respect All of Our Students vs I’m Homeless
POINT: We Love and Respect All of Our Students Here at UC San Diego, the greatest research institute of all time, student satisfaction is one of …
University Claims ‘The Creature Isn’t Our Problem’
“I spoke to The Creature and I thought he was a really nice guy,” said one UCSD administrator.Photo by Julia Wong Last Monday, UC San Diego …
Happy 40th Birthday to the Stuart Art Collection! vs What Even Are All These Weird Pieces of Art?
POINT: Happy 40th Birthday to the Stuart Art Collection! Have you ever been on an amble through campus when you have stumbled upon a curious, nay, …
Eucalyptus Grove Marches on Geiselgard
“To all the students who think they can support the Ent uprising, I have one thing to say to you,” said Chancellor Pradeep Khosla. “You shall …
Mold Is Dangerous and It Should Be the University’s Responsibility to Remove It vs. Mold Actually Makes You Smarter If You Sniff Enough of It
POINT: Mold Is Dangerous and It Should Be the University’s Responsibility to Remove It When I moved into the UC San Diego dorms, I expected to …
UCSD Begs Students to Have More Sex
“I can’t believe our virginity rate is even higher than our acceptance rate!” said Dill Doe.Photo by Julia Wong Since its establishment, UC San Diego has …
I Give Up — The Next Global Disaster Will Be Too Weird to Predict
A decade of unprecedentedly unprecedented times, whatever people are calling it, has put me out of business. If you asked me a decade ago where we’d …
UCSD to Convert Individual Parking Spaces Into ‘Housing Solutions’
“When I came back from my 8 a.m. class, some asshole had parked his Prius in my living room,” complained one resident.Photo by Amit Roth UC …
Conan O’Brien Returns as Sixth College’s Namesake
The Conan O’Fryin barbecue began with a Cannon O’Brien 21-gun salute.Photo by Amit Roth After more than 21 years of sticking “passive-aggressive” Post-it Notes to their …
