Editorial

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Grades Inflate, Society Crumbles

Written by: Everett Ririe

In the storied history of education there has been but one constant: the strong pass and the weak fail. Educators from Socrates to Dennis Prager have …

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How to Always Win Your Fantasy Football League

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

It’s a tale as old as time. September rolls around and your friends or colleagues invite you to join their fantasy football league. There’s just one …

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Why Can’t I Find a Relationship

Written by: Alberto Ruiz

Things were looking up for me this summer. I hit the sweet seven-inch growth spurt every man in his early 20s yearns for, my socially debilitating …

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Professional Sports Have Become Predictable

Written by: Pranav Reddy

What’s the deal with sports these days? When I was a kid, there were still new narratives and new agendas being pushed. We had Michael Jordan …

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Life Is Horrible, but I Have a Little Drink

Written by: Katie Campbell

I have been in a constant state of misery since September 23, 2022, after the innocent newness of Fall Quarter ceased to appeal to me and …

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Tom Cruise Is the Last Gen X Babygirl

Written by: Millie You

I take my coffee black with salt, carry cash, and drive a manual car. I shook hands with George Lucas once, and Al Pacino made eye …

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Werewolf Woman: The Invisibility of White Femininity

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …

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My Boyfriend Hates My Sex Playlist

Written by: Katie Campbell

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …

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People These Days Don’t Know How Hard It Is to Be an Immortal Wizard

Written by: Katie Campbell

Wizards of San Diego, I come to you all with the most horrible problem I have ever faced in my short 200 years of existence. I …

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Organic Chemistry Is Made Up

Written by: Madeline Mozafari and Liv Gilbert

I simply cannot do it anymore. I cannot suspend my belief in the way of the world and pretend that I understand what the hell an …