I take my coffee black with salt, carry cash, and drive a manual car. I shook hands with George Lucas once, and Al Pacino made eye contact with me in a souvenir shop back in ’81. I’m a Man, and I’m unabashedly in love with Tom Cruise, America’s true sweetheart (all respect to Julia Roberts) and — dare I say it — the last babygirl. Joel from The Last of Us wasn’t in his right mind using that term for someone other than Tom Cruise. A babygirl must fulfill ALL tenets: alpha in mind, alpha in looks, and, of course, a certain je ne sais quoi.
I look at the most lauded actors today, and I can’t find a single one worth my salt anymore. What pulls people to the theaters is no longer star power but CGI, and it shows in the fresh crop of Hollywood. All of them, little beta chameleons. No one ever goes to see the actors — they go to see the characters now, whatever that means. Thomas Champalay, that little pale theater kid who needs vitamin supplements? Babygirl my ass. The only thing he’s good for is playing that weird stoner from Don’t Look Up. Where have the true stars gone? I feel as if Tom Cruise is the last babygirl of Hollywood that’s going to exist for a long, long while — the last golden remnant of a beautiful California sunset.
So, what is it about Tom Cruise that makes him so babygirl to my generation? Take your pick — you look into Tom Cruise’s eyes and you freeze like a deer. He’s cool as steel — you never know what he’s really thinking, like the Mona Lisa. There are no words to describe that megawatt smile. His vibrant laugh goes on and on, never-ending in its warmth, wrapping around you like a hug. And his commitment to his faith despite public harassment is admirable. He really is the last one with that “it” factor, that intensity behind the eyes. Ever since Top Gun, he’s been our precious baby boy. Think Ben Affleck can do that? Matt Damon? These guys are brilliant, sure, perhaps even the last iota of brilliance in Hollywood today, but the dynamite magnetism is missing. I’m not talking about that Zoolander Blue Magnum bullshit, I’m talking about the old Hollywood Movie Star, that old gravitas that elevates every role. Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Tom Cruise. The beautiful trifecta, and we’re lucky that Cruise has survived three harrowingly restrictive marriages to outlive the other legendary bombshells and stay with us today. Clear skin, rock-hard abs and arms, lush and still in full bloom at 60, unchained by no one. We Gen X Men are seen, represented, and inspired to push ourselves to the next level with every role of Tom’s.
He is the GOAT, our pride and joy, our diamond, the apple of our eye, our babygirl then and now, forever and always. Thank you, Tom. Thank you.