Politics
Local Student Seeks to Learn Who Gerry Mandering Is
Quill later wanted to find out who “All” was and why they should get Medicare.Photo by Jack Yang First-year ERC student Tara Quill, after just now realizing …
New Trump Healthcare Program Supplies Public With Healing Crystals
Doctors are encouraging patients to look at their prescribed crystals at least twice a day.Photo by Jack Yang In January 2020, the Trump administration will roll out …
White House Hires Plumber to Fix Leaks
“No offense to my boss, but duct tape can’t really fix these leaks,” said Secretary Stewart. Photo by Jade Coniglio White House Chief of Staff Mick …
Amish Communities Rally Behind Andrew Yang to Fight Wave of Automation
“Aren’t we glad our fragile human flesh is not being pierced by rocks, fellow human women?” asked the metallic Amish woman.Photo by Jack Yang Democratic candidate …
Trump’s Tariffs Activate Xi Jinping’s Trap Card, Lowers America’s Attack Points by 500
Trump later assured the American public that he bought “the best cards. The most expensive, most valuable, rarest cards.”Photo by Jessica Ma Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham …
Democratic Candidates Prepare For 2020 Election by “Practicing Civility and Respect”
Glitter from the valentine is projected to last in the Oval Office for three more terms.Photo by Jack Yang Some candidates in the 2020 Democratic primary …
Sans Announcement Causes Trump to Worry About Skeleton Immigration
After opening the invitation letter, Trump was reportedly surrounded by animated text reading, “Donald Trumps the Competition.”Photo by Jack Yang Over the summer, many fans of …
RNC to Propose Monthly Virginity Tests for Women
McDaniel told reporters, “It takes a village to raise a child, and luckily my uterus is owned by our great village of the US of A!”Photo …
Bernie Sanders Expected to be Crucified and Resurrected in First Democratic Primary Debate
After three days, polling showed that Bernie Sanders’ popularity rose again.Photo by Jessica Ma As the first Democratic primary debate of the 2020 election season approaches, …
H&M Mannequin Joins Democratic Primary Race
Trump has reportedly shared many concerns about the fact that candidate Robert Perrson was made in China.Photo by Jack Yang Robert Perrson, a mannequin from the …
