Politics
Trump’s Tariffs Activate Xi Jinping’s Trap Card, Lowers America’s Attack Points by 500
Trump later assured the American public that he bought “the best cards. The most expensive, most valuable, rarest cards.”Photo by Jessica Ma Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham …
Democratic Candidates Prepare For 2020 Election by “Practicing Civility and Respect”
Glitter from the valentine is projected to last in the Oval Office for three more terms.Photo by Jack Yang Some candidates in the 2020 Democratic primary …
Sans Announcement Causes Trump to Worry About Skeleton Immigration
After opening the invitation letter, Trump was reportedly surrounded by animated text reading, “Donald Trumps the Competition.”Photo by Jack Yang Over the summer, many fans of …
Bernie Sanders Expected to be Crucified and Resurrected in First Democratic Primary Debate
After three days, polling showed that Bernie Sanders’ popularity rose again.Photo by Jessica Ma As the first Democratic primary debate of the 2020 election season approaches, …
H&M Mannequin Joins Democratic Primary Race
Trump has reportedly shared many concerns about the fact that candidate Robert Perrson was made in China.Photo by Jack Yang Robert Perrson, a mannequin from the …
RNC to Propose Monthly Virginity Tests for Women
McDaniel told reporters, “It takes a village to raise a child, and luckily my uterus is owned by our great village of the US of A!”Photo …
Area Man Holds Unique Opinion on Abortion That Deserves to be Heard
“I even had to explain to the women what ‘man-splaining’ was,” said “Women’s Advocate” Charlie Miller. Photo by Stephen Lightfoot In response to the recent debate …
Trump’s Space Force: “We Will Send the First Americans to the Moon by 2044”
Months after introducing the general public to the concept of an American Space Force, President Trump signed a new policy that laid out plans to establish …
DNC Announces Endorsement Decision Will Be Settled by Battle Royale
This week the Democratic National Committee announced the winner of the Democratic Primaries will be chosen through a “battle royale.” While the details aren’t clear of …
El Chapo Given Pardon by Trump, Becomes New Secretary of Commerce
Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, the former leader of the Sinaloa Cartel who was recently convicted on drug trafficking charges, has been given a presidential pardon in …
