News
Raccoon Themed “Pirates of the Caribbean” Ride Creates a Sinkhole in Sixth Parking Lot
UCSD officials apologized for disrupting “the foundation of trust” between students and faculty.Photo by Sharon Roth After a controversial decision by Chancellor Khosla to install a raccoon-themed …
Disneyland and UC System Compete for Highest Prices
UCSD and Disney are also currently engaged in a trademark dispute over the name “King Triton.”Photo by Sharon Roth With spring and summer break just around the …
Burger King Announces New Snakey Shakey to compete with McDonald’s Shamrock Shake
Burger King announced that every Kid’s Shake will come with a free rattle.Photo by Sharon Roth In a new step towards commercializing holidays across the calendar, Burger …
Elon Musk Deemed “Not Morally Ambiguous Enough” to Qualify as Name for Sixth College
Musk later tweeted: “Once I get to Mars, I’ll show them.”Photo by Jay Noonan Last week, UCSD’s college naming committee released their bi-weekly transparency report detailing polling …
We Don’t Need Seven More Colleges vs. But If We Have 13, Sun God Can Finally Ascend to His True Form
Point: We Don’t Need Seven More Colleges UCSD is a big school. Plopped on the cliffs of La Jolla, the top research university has an undergraduate …
New Study Finds Lost Keys, Scientist Appalled at His Own Creation
West says the next big step is finding where he last parked his car.Photo by Jack Yang R ecently it was announced UCSD can now boast about …
New Study Shows Mental Illnesses are Apparently “Not Moods”
Students were dismissive of the movement, with one saying “They should just be more positive.”Photo by Jay Noonan New findings from a study conducted by the UCSD …
Valentine’s Day Goes Paperless to Appeal to “Those Whiny Kids”
Kids lauded the move as a “true act of love” toward the Earth.Photo by Silver Wallace In a bid to reconcile outdated courting practices, major Valentine’s card …
Area Man Just Waiting for an Opportunity to Talk About the Horses Outside of PF Chang’s
“I don’t know who I am anymore without the horse” says Chou, when asked by officers to get off the horse.Photo by Jack Yang Local man Devin …
Local Man Can’t Understand Why He Can’t Bring up Gore at the Dinner Table
After performing his “sausage as noose” routine for the fourth night in a row, Jason Roth reportedly told his disapproving mother, “What do you mean mom? …
