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New Study Shows Mental Illnesses are Apparently “Not Moods”

Written by: Miranda May

Students were dismissive of the movement, with one saying “They should just be more positive.”
Photo by Jay Noonan

New findings from a study conducted by the UCSD Psychology Department show that students are unable to express daily frustrations without immediately appropriating mental health issues. This study has prompted a movement among psychologists to end the misuse of disparaging psychological terms. Dr. Henry Wilhelm, a research professor at UCSD states: “These terms are meant to describe the chronic symptoms those suffering from mental illness face, and it’s offensive when neurotypical people use them so casually.”

Some students, however, disagree with the criticism. Amanda June, a UCSD literature major, says, “I was outraged the researchers would even insist I get rid of a huge part of my vocabulary. I just got a C on my midterm, and I’m so depressed! What other word am I supposed to use? I’m about to have an anxiety attack because of finals, and I have already had three mental breakdowns today, two of which happened when I didn’t know what I wanted at Starbucks. Just thinking about my fall quarter o-chem final is giving me PTSD.”

Others have sided with June, including Stacy Grenshaw. “I have such crazy OCD! I hate it when somebody’s shirt collar is crooked or they have an undone button.” When asked further about her OCD, she replied, “I mean, I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD by a doctor, but I took a quiz online about it and I totally am hella OCD. Like, I can’t stand crooked paintings on a wall, it drives me crazy.”

Erik Vargas, a UCSD biology major, who was also interviewed, states: “The weather was so bipolar today! This morning I was freezing my nads off, and now I’m sweaty as hell! Also I should be able to use whatever words I want, free speech and all.”

Dr. Wilhelm addressed these students at a campus event, insisting: “These words are meant to diagnose and help those living with mental disorders. When these words are used so carelessly, it trivializes mental illness and furthers stigma. These disorders are chronic, complex, and impact the lives of millions. If you continue to use these words, you are invalidating those suffering from these illnesses and diminishing the severity of their condition!”

To this June responded: “Dr. Wilhelm made a great point, but it was really hard to listen to him because he was using such big words, and I am totally ADHD. And I still think diagnostic words should not be taken away from the mentally normative!”

After pushback from the gathered students, Dr. Wilhelm exclaimed in frustration: “There are thousands of other words to describe these mundane struggles! Use words like ‘upset,’ ‘stressed,’ or ‘overwhelmed!’ The life threatening struggles of the mentally ill are not fucking adjectives!”

Dr. Wilhelm reportedly raised his voice and continued to yell, until he was escorted out by his colleagues. “What a psycho,” said June.

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