Farhad Taraporevala
Inedible Arrangements CEO Becomes World’s First Trillionaire
Inedible Arrangements CEO Honey Dew became the world’s first trillionaire after her flower startup’s stock became the most traded stock in NASDAQ history. The stock’s meteoric …
Mutated Sea Life Takes Over Coast Following Japanese Release of Treated Radioactive Water
“These plants show an appalling amount of sentience. I’m not sure what I’m gonna live off of,” said one vegan resident.Photo by Millie You On August …
NFL Releases Collaborative Script for New Season
“Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art — oh, shit, wrong play,” said Kenny Pickett.Photo by Amit Roth In a series of advertisements designed to raise excitement for …
How to Always Win Your Fantasy Football League
It’s a tale as old as time. September rolls around and your friends or colleagues invite you to join their fantasy football league. There’s just one …
US Treasury Loses Trillion Dollar Coin
With weeks until the debt default deadline and negotiations at a stalemate, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen enacted her plan. “Once I saw that Joseph and Kevin …
MLB Hires Striking TV Show Writers
“I’m gonna be great at this whole baseball thing,” said one writer. “I’ve already nailed my opening pitch.”Photo by Jacob King and Maria Dhilla Shortly after …
UCSD Announces Plan for “Giant Space Laser” to Eliminate Bad Weather
Photo by Amit Roth UC San Diego broke ground earlier this week on the construction of the WASTEOFMONEY, or the Weather Augmentation Station That Emits Only …
UCSD Announces New Quantum Art Department
Photo by Amit Roth Early Wednesday morning, UC San Diego announced the creation of the Department of Quantum Art in collaboration with several private donors. In …
March Madness Shortens Format To Draw in Younger Audience
After years of declining viewership, the NCAA announced a shift in their annual March Madness tournament in an effort to “pander to those damn kids.” “It’s …
Guy Fieri Announces Bid for California Senate Seat with Diners, Drive-Ins and Democracy
“If he can beat Bobby Flay, he can do anything,” voiced one voter.Photo by Connor Betterly On Tuesday, February 14, longtime California senator Dianne Feinstein announced …
