US Treasury Loses Trillion Dollar Coin


Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

With weeks until the debt default deadline and negotiations at a stalemate, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen enacted her plan. “Once I saw that Joseph and Kevin were never going to agree to terms in time, I knew I had to take action,” explained Yellen. “If I let those bozos default on our debt, the world would be thrown into crisis and all hell would break loose. Instead, I did the responsible thing, and ordered the Denver mint to begin work on a trillion dollar coin. When completed, it could be deposited back into the treasury, lowering our debt by a trillion dollars and averting the crisis. Little did I know that this practical and straightforward plan would turn out to be a disaster that’s almost as bad as Kevin’s hair and makeup team.”

The next day, reports emerged that the Denver mint could not find the trillion dollar coin. “I don’t know where the coin could have gone, I kept such a good eye on it,” said former mint employee and current trillionaire Miami Larceny. “I was unfairly fired for losing the coin, but luckily came into a sizable inheritance that should keep me comfortable until the next debt default.”

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