Dan Kaliblotzky
Local Charmin Ultra Soft Bear Household Stocked With Strong Toilet Paper, Charmin Bear Child Found Passed Out in Bathroom
“Maybe we should just switch to wet wipes,” commented Ultrasoft Charmin Bear Mom.Photo by Sharon Roth Various bathrooms in the house of a Charmin Ultra Soft bear …
Local Laptop Has Existential Crisis After Being Put on Desk, Starts Lifestyle Blog
My Laptop later shared that its crisis could not be solved by turning itself off and on again.Photo by Sharon Roth Local laptop “My Laptop,” a Lenovo …
CHIPOTLE Discount Revoked For Uncreative PET Costume
CHIPOTLE Discount Revoked For Uncreative PET Costume Local dog owner Jacob Houston was rejected from Chipotle’s annual Halloween discount after his English bulldog’s Batman costume was …
La Jolla Playhouse Premiers "Stomp 2", Featuring UCSD’s Custodial Staff
Several audience members paid for a premium package with “splash zone” seating and $80 “Stomp 2” ponchos.Photo by Jack Yang The La Jolla Playhouse recently announced …
This Little Piggy Went to a Frat Party, This Little Piggy Has a Bloody Nose Because Becky Offered Her Cocaine…
By Martha ChristiansonFailed Parent Hello! Yeah, hello, Susie! You’re just the cutest baby, huh? Do you want to hear what your siblings were up to last …
UCSD Student’s Bedroom Confused for Glassware Antique Show
One of the plates pictured was taken for further inspection after scientists found a culture on it dating back to 2013.Photo by Jay Noonan Taylor Fetner, …
In Response to UCSD Spam Quarantine Complaints, UCSD Sends More Spam Emails
“Apparently, a postcard from my parents didn’t arrive because my mailbox was full, but this is well-formatted, I guess,” shared one Warren student after checking her …
this almond farmer uses less water so he can take long showers
When it comes to almond farming, water is the main event. From the groundwater to the plumbing, water runs deep in the lifestyle of the Brightson …
Local Phone Charged With Battery
Local phone “Paul’s iPhone” was charged with battery of Anker PowerCore 20100 after a “desperate attempt to stay alive” resulted in the death of the Anker …
