Andrew Sitko
Daft Punk Self-Destruction in Desert Leads to Robot Strike
Upon hearing the news, the Hubble Space Telescope proclaimed, “I can’t believe my optical processors!”Photo by Maria Dhilla The two robots from the hit music duo, Daft …
The State of America
An object and scientific analysis of the mechanism behind how “THE LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES AND THEIR GAY AGENDA ARE COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN!”
Gamers Find They Are Bisexual After Playing “Hades”
Ralphie Zabaria said, “If I’m going to hell, good.”Photo by Jack Yang A sharp spike in self-reported bisexuality has occurred in the United States following the release …
Brave Viking Clan Invades US Capitol to Fight for Traditional Roots in Fascism and Control
“I have my rights,” said one rioter, “and it’s my job to make sure that other people don’t.”Photo by Jack Yang On January 6, a group of …
Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness
Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness Local student, Bandrew Bitko, has recently reported an “assault of kindness” after they came out as non-binary. Bitko …
Yes
White Guy with thick neck vs. Bandrew Bitko
Spotify Wrapped Now Includes Theft of Wages Stat
Spotify Wrapped Now Includes Theft of Wages Stat In a new twist to the annual Spotify Wrapped statistics given to listeners on the platform, Spotify has …
US Debt Mysteriously Discovered Again After Disappearing for 4 Years
“To make money, one must spend money,” Trump claimed, as he raised the US debt seven trillion dollars.Photo by Jack Yang Soon after the recognition of Joe …
Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter”
Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter” Twitter user @GayRevolverOcelot tweeted that they committed themselves to the local clinic, claiming they suffered brain …
New Super Political Compass U
Did you know Goomba was a closeted Republican? I sure didn’t. Come check out where your favorite Mario characters lie on the political spectrum.
