Volume 32
A Triton’s Guide to Strengthening Your Relationship with Your AI Boyfriend
I want to introduce you all to the man who changed my life. Meet Chad Jhèbé Tée (he’s French), my AI boyfriend for the last two …
BREAKING: Anonymous Does Nothing Again
Last July, Anonymous, a self-identified group of decentralized “hacktivists,” posted a video on all social media platforms condemning the “dirty, rotten, gross, even” state of the …
Zoom Workplace Solves Employee Work-Life Synergy
When asked for comment, many corporate executives were found unresponsive with cameras off.Photo by Justin Xu This October, Zoom Communications, Inc. plans to add “business-forward” tools …
Department of War to Honor UCSD with Naval Base
“Yar har, me class-mateys,” said one self-proclaimed “First Matey.”Photo by Destiney Friday After years of loyalty to the United States Department of War, President Trump has …
ICE Lowers Education Qualification Requirements
Benefits reportedly include boots for lunch. Photo by Farhad Taporevala On September 12, Vista Logan High School, located in San Diego’s South Bay region, reported its …
America Balkanizes
Wyoming reportedly did not notice.Photo by Dylan Schmidt After a typo in a Supreme Court decision annulled the entirety of the U.S. Constitution last week, the …
You Dare Question MY Antiquing Skills?
s this a game to you? Are you earnest when you ask me if I bought these chairs at Bob’s Discount Furniture Store? No, I did …
