Volume 32
UCSD Writing Programs Introduce New ‘Metamorphic’ Curriculum to Fail Students
“What does the use of the space bar say about the author’s intentions?” asked one professor. Multiple UC San Diego writing programs announced that they will be completely rehauling…
UCSD Extends Quarter for Chemistry Department ‘Christmas Final’
“Can we get this to happen to the biology majors too?” said one evil biology student. UC San Diego has decided to extend the 2025 Fall Quarter by two weeks following requests from the chemistry…
Myers-Quiggs Personality Test
Unhappy with your result? For a better assessment, check out the full quiz below!
Ditto AI Pivots to Circus Industry
“I saw a giraffe with two necks and no feet,” said one visitor. Widely regarded as the source of “all those annoying posters on campus,” matchmaking service Ditto AI has decided to take advantage…
Santa Claus is a Filthy Commie vs. Santa Claus is a Greedy Capitalist
Every year, this man parades around, spreading his communist propaganda, and is celebrated for it. Well, I won’t stand for it!
For goodness’ sake, this man spreads…
Grinch ‘Fucking Pissed’
“The true meaning of Christmas is now beating the shit out you people,” said Grinch. After nearly seven years away from the public eye, Ethan Toothstain Grinch, or The…
