June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII

Top Ten Ways to Have a Good Family Holiday Dinner

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

November 26, 2025

  1. Bring up The Incident
  2. Invite your father’s mistress
  3. Place a loaded musket on the table
  4. Out your cousin before they out you
  5. Maintain eye contact; they can smell your fear
  6. Get creative with the turkey baster
  7. Ask where Grandma is this year
  8. Adopt moderate ideologies
  9. Spoil the Wordle
  10. Get wet!
The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

Last modified: December 7, 2025