Point: Santa Claus is a Filthy Commie
Youtube Historian
Every year, this man parades around, spreading his communist propaganda, and is celebrated for it. Well, I won’t stand for it!
For goodness’ sake, this man spreads his filthy lies to children. Children! Won’t someone think of the children?
He sends these so-called “gifts” across the world. To everyone! Equally! Regardless of income! How will these poor people ever learn the value of hard work? Of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps? What world do we want for our future generations? A planned economy, in this economy!? Santa even lets his elves take time off for significant portions of the year AND he probably lets them unionize, too! Simply put, this man is a welfare queen, stealing cookies and milk from hardworking people like you and me. Do we really want this radical pro-worker Leninist-Marxist infecting our children? We simply cannot let these poor, uneducated lowlives have any say in the matters of the state. This is a slippery slope that starts with woke Barbie dolls for all and ends with the next coming of Stalin and the ruin of western civilization. The man even wears red! Are we blind to the pages of the past?!
Counterpoint: Santa Claus is a Greedy Capitalist
North Pole Whistleblower
Bourgeois nonsense! The ruling class paints Saint
Nick as a communist to veil the horrors of holiday
capitalism that he spreads to homes all across the globe. The plight of Christmas is the plight of Labor. The Clauses subject working class elves to brutal exploitation, demanding ever increasing quotas, and reducing them to mere append- ages of a brutal yuletide machine. In crowded workshops with noisy Christmas music, Mariah Carey torments these workers year-round.
Comparatively, Santa works one measly night a year, exporting his laborer-made toys to children across the world. Throughout the holiday season, Santa downplays the role of the elves and asserts himself as the sole architect of Christmas. In the process, he trans-
forms a generation of children into a generation of tiny brain- washed consumers. Indeed, Santa’s model of consumerism commodifies societal relationships into gift value. No longer does the bond
between parent and child rely on mutual love and affection, but the value of increasingly expensive pieces of plastic. Santa alone bears responsibility for $60 Labubus.
The time has come for the children and elves alike to reject their participation in holiday hegemony through a general strike against Christmas. Let Mr. and Mrs. Claus tremble at the coming proletariat revolution. The elves have nothing to lose but their chains! They have a North Pole to win! WORKING CREATURES OF THE TUNDRA UNITE!
