June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII

Top Ten Christmas Traditions

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

November 26, 2025

  1. Proselytizing
  2. Getting drunk with your extended family
  3. Brutalizing two home invaders
    while left home alone
  4. Deciding which parent to
    spend Christmas with
  5. Boycotting companies saying
    “Happy Holidays”
  6. Scalping and reselling toys from the store
  7. Baptizing the family pet
  8. Lighting your goddamn house on fire
  9. Elf hunting
  10. The Immaculate Conception
The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

Last modified: November 24, 2025