Volume 31 Issue 1

FeaturesOther Features

Which Major Should You Choose?

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesNationalNews

Following Ecological Destruction, Fisherman Fishes for Compliments

Written by: Theo Erickson

“You’re telling me this fertilizer doesn’t make the water grow faster?” asked one fisherman.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala The loose parking brake of an unattended truck full …

FeaturesOther Features

Little Chats With Melvin McQuerey

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesCampusNews

Toxic Workplace Environments Perfect for Crop Growth

Written by: Janice Kim

The phrase “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” was found to be one of the most reliable fertilizers.Photo by Jordan Whitlow After world hunger was solved during Summer Session II, the …

Sunday Comics

NEXT!

Written by: Dylan Schmidt

ArticlesCampusNews

Sunshine Market Maximizes Convenience by Abolishing the Illusion of Choice

Written by: Abby Offenhauser

“I tried to take the bell pepper out of my basket, and three store employees tackled me,” said shopper Anne Flaxis. “I’m allergic!”Photo by Liv Gilbert …

Sunday Comics

Meow Tools

Written by: Dylan Towner

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons Your Professors Hate You

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesCampusLocalNews

UCSD to Acquire UTC

Written by: Maddie Samaniego

“Finally, another place I can spend this useless currency,” said third-year student Darlene Davidson.Photo by Liv Gilbert I n a sudden announcement affecting students, faculty, and …

ArticlesLocalNews

Art Scheme Exposed After ‘Silliest’ Turn of Events

Written by: Olga Vysotsky

“A picture is worth a thousand words, but this one wasn’t worth my time,” said Buadgui.Photo by Dylan Schmidt A new video surfaced on TikTok last …