Volume 29
Amidst Recession Fears, U.S. Federal Reserve Adopts New Monetary Policy of “Get Your Money Up”
“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Julia Wong After two quarters of negative economic growth and …
Minotaur Discovered in UCSD Tunnels
“There’s a minotaur in the tunnels? I call bullshit,” announced one fourth-year.Photo by Amit Roth It is common knowledge among UC San Diego students that there …
Breaking Bones Is Good for You Because Then You Have More Bones
Don’t trust Big Bone! All they want is to preserve their calcium cartel. Trust me on this one: breaking your bones is good for you. Who …
When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie
That’s lunch!
Local Horse Opposes Affordable Housing Development in Neighborhood
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades — two things I’ll be chucking at the affordable houses!” proclaimed the horse.Photo by James Woolley In September …
British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III
British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III After the death of Queen Elizabeth II, citizens of the United Kingdom were concerned that they …
Roommate Wanted
$700/month, $5,000 security deposit 30 sqft. 1312 Lain Lane, La Jolla CA, 92122 Seeking roommate to share a 30-squarefoot apartment. No need to buy your own …
Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail
Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail Every September, millions of people participate in fantasy football. For some, the joy comes from drafting their favorite …
Pirate Parrots Display “Matey Dance”
“Ahoy,” chirped the parrot, who then declined to give any further comment.Photo By Julia Wong Dr. Perry Keates, ornithologist, has spent the last 15 years studying …
Cold Fusion Debate Gets Heated
Cold Fusion Debate Gets Heated Cold fusion, a hypothetical type of fusion occurring at room temperature as opposed to the temperature of the sun, is sought …
