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Roommate Wanted

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$700/month, $5,000 security deposit

30 sqft. 1312 Lain Lane, La Jolla CA, 92122

Seeking roommate to share a 30-squarefoot apartment. No need to buy your own toothbrush — we can share. Because there’s no ceiling, you will have a perfect view of the sky, and Jeremy’s mom lives with us so she can do our laundry and make sure we get enough to eat. We don’t believe in “dishes.” Interested people will have to join our amazing business opportunity — you just have to refer 15 friends! God loves us, so he’ll love you by association.

  1. Floor made of ice, because we like to skate around the apartment
  2. The shower head is very low, so you’ll have to shower on your knees
  3. Our Bitcoin mining rig, which serves as an ever-present radiator and fan
  4. Chimney, which is actually a trash chute for the apartment above us
  5. Gun, which previously belonged to Anton Chekov

Contact: (408) 680-3441

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