Volume 28 Issue 4
Groundbreaking Study Finds Average New Year’s Resolution Is Only Kept for 25 Minutes
“New hour, new me,” said Debilis.Photo by Jack Yang The National Academy of Sciences recently published a study showing that the average New Year’s resolution is …
Top Ten Items We Found in the Fridge After Returning from Winter Break
10. Another, smaller fridge9. Our dead wife8. A cup of drug-free pee7. Laika’s exploded remains6. Our roommate who hid there all break to get the $650 …
Thespians Claim COVID Immunity As They Are “Really Good At Pretending They Don’t Have It”
“The only jab I’ll get is behind the curtain,” said the actor playing Polonius.Photo by Sharon Roth Last December, the Actors Association of America (AAA) released a …
Top Ten Uncommon Hazards to your Health
Top Ten Uncommon Hazards to your Health FNAF lore Week 10 midterms Deodorant Expired Brita filter water Items branded for women that have no reason to …
Student Locked Out of Dorm in Solidarity with MLB Players
“If you can’t let me in, can you at least buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack?” asked Lohmann.Photo by Julia Wong First-year communications major June …
Escaped Lab Mouse Takes up Residence in Seventh College Elevator
Escaped Lab Mouse Takes up Residence in Seventh College Elevator Last Friday, first-year Seventh College student Christopher Crumbs reported seeing a mouse on one of the …
