Mr. and Mrs. Jennings’ front yard is a scene of devastation after the most recent battle in the war on lawn decor. The ensuing skirmish resulted in casualties on both sides of the war. 

Major Eureka Bonaparte, leader of the flamingo battalion, later said, “Morale has been shot. We don’t even have two legs to stand on.”

Although most would not brave the treacherous stretch of grass between the trenches, General Emille “Bingo” Turnpike-Flashdrive entered Gnome Man’s Land to rescue lost pinwheels. Just as he picked up the last pinwheel, the enemy began pelting him with bird seed from their military grade bird feeder. General Bingo did not survive the enemy fire. 

At 3 a.m. a truce was called so General Bingo’s troops could mourn. Major Bonaparte ceded a key piece of land, the corner next to the vegetable patch, so General Bingo could be buried next to his favorite gardenia bush. 

The following morning, when Mr. Jennings walked past the aftermath of the night’s battle on his way to get the newspaper, he loudly proclaimed that he would “tear this godforsaken lawn apart” and replace it with a minimalistic rock garden.