Volume 27
Local Cat Has Already Lost Eight Lives
He’s not gonna be losing the last one to you
The Weeknd Delivers an Astonishing Allegory of Society via Super Bowl Halftime Show
A particularly philosophical commenter said, “One must imagine the Weeknd happy.”Photo by Jack Yang Grammy award-winning Canadian singer The Weeknd has been praised recently for his thought-provoking …
Magic 8-Ball Makes Concerning Predictions about Iraq
Magic 8-Ball Makes Concerning Predictions about Iraq The popular toy and novelty soothsayer, Magic 8-Ball, has garnered significant attention following their appearance on NBC 7 News. …
Elderly Welder Welding Wedding Rings Welcomes Internet Flame
While weddings between welders are beautiful, 50 percent of scrap is taken in the divorce.Photo by Jack Yang The TikTok algorithm has birthed another viral video from …
Home Shopping Network Officially Launches New Streaming Service
Home Shopping Network Officially Launches New Streaming Service The popular television station The Home Shopping Network announced that it is going to be launching its own …
UCSD Student Discovers Great Tits, Ornithologists Baffled
Buns hid his woodpecker at the sight of Great Tits.Photo by Sharon Roth Passing by a group of female students on his way to throw out the …
Problems Local Student Has Had for Four Years Blamed on “Senioritis”
“I guess time really does fly by when you do nothing but witness the unending monotony of life,” said Chou.Photo by Sharon Roth Fourth year student Devin …
Daft Punk Self-Destruction in Desert Leads to Robot Strike
Upon hearing the news, the Hubble Space Telescope proclaimed, “I can’t believe my optical processors!”Photo by Maria Dhilla The two robots from the hit music duo, Daft …
UCSD Builds New Student Parking Lot in Juneau, Alaska
“I can see the Russian studies department from here,” said one student.Photo by Maria Dhilla In an effort to address the lack of proper student parking on …
