Problems Local Student Has Had for Four Years Blamed on “Senioritis”

Written by: Dexter Hamilton

“I guess time really does fly by when you do nothing but witness the unending monotony of life,” said Chou.
Photo by Sharon Roth

Fourth year student Devin Chou has been struggling with what he describes as “entirely new difficulties with school.” According to Chou, his symptoms align with a frequently diagnosed ailment: senioritis, where graduating students lose motivation to excel in their classes. “I’ve found myself checking in for no more than 10 minutes of class a week, putting off assignments until the last minute and then deciding they aren’t worth doing at all, and putting in the bare minimum amount of effort to pass my classes. Clearly, my senior year is going so poorly because I’m afflicted with a severe case of senioritis.”

Some of Chou’s acquaintances, however, take issue with his self-diagnosis. “I asked him what was being covered in the math class he’s taking, and he wasn’t even sure if they were learning about numbers. He told me it was ‘senioritis’ but he’s been like this for as long as he’s been in college,” said Chou’s roommate, Baxter Washington. “He attended class consistently for about two weeks of his freshman year, and since then has pretty much only showed up when attendance was mandatory. Even then, Devin’s pretty much missing in action once he knows he’s attended enough times to pass.”

Chou, when asked about Washington’s comments, said, “I promise it’s senioritis! Maybe I had a couple of small, manageable issues that weren’t that big of a deal before, but it’s never been this bad. Like, maybe earlier in college I put in less than 100 percent of my effort, but at least I started every quarter thinking it would be different! This year, I just couldn’t delude myself with those foolish expectations, and so I’ve been embracing the senior mindset: get out there and do the absolute bare minimum to get by.”

Despite this claim, another one of Chou’s friends attested that Chou’s mindset has been the exact same his entire college career. “By Winter Quarter of our first year here, Devin was already skipping almost every class and only showing up for exams. He wouldn’t even attend class on syllabus day, so I’m not sure how different this ‘new’ mindset is. Maybe he’s had senioritis for four years.”

Chou’s mother offered a different perspective: “Frankly, it’s ridiculous that anyone would claim my son has had senioritis for his entire college experience. After all, I put him through college so he could do his absolute best and take home a fully realized education.” Chou’s father agreed that Devin had not had senioritis for four years, but presented a different view, saying, “This kid has had that attitude since he was six. This senioritis thing? He’s had it for 15 years, at least.”

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