Volume 26 Issue 4
University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President
University of California Sponsors Next Season of The Bachelor to Decide Next UC President Following UC President Janet Napolitano’s plans of resignation from her position in …
Local Coffeeshop Announces “12 Months of Christmas” Promotion
One mall Santa commented: “I’ve never had so much job security in my life.”Photo by Sharon Roth Last week, local coffeeshop “Rise ‘n Grind” announced a new …
UCSD Student Proposes $300 AirPod "Earrings"
Following the release of the product, both ear infection rates and the model’s Instagram follower count reportedly skyrocketed.Photo by Sharon Roth Reports find that Apple’s wireless earbuds …
Top Ten Things Your Mom Was Right About All Along
Top Ten Things Your Mom Was Right About All Along You really did need that jacket That boy was up to no good You are just …
Disney Confirms Elsa is Not a Lesbian, But Sven is a Furry
Disney executives have reportedly confirmed that Elsa will be introduced to a new female “best friend roommate” for “Frozen 3.”Photo by Jack Yang Amidst rumors about Queen …
Life Revealed to be an Elaborate Game of Mad Libs Played by the Gods
“Oh, this ought to be a good one,” said Tian Gong, looking at the line: “Jesus was __ (Race).”Photo by Jack Yang In a booming announcement from …
Groundhog Day Inner Circle Reveals Punxsutawney Phil as “Treacherous Warhawk”
Rumor has it Punxsutawney Phil grows stronger every time someone misspells his name.Photo by Sharon Roth Only a few days after he declared an early spring, serious …
