Point:
Australia’s Fires are Tragic but We Can All Help
Woke Student
I was so devastated to hear about the Australian fires. Just thinking about all those animals losing their homes makes me so sad. I felt super helpless, until I realized that we can all do what we can to help. “Be the change you want to see.” I feel like someone important said that once, but it just really applies to this situation. We can all do our part. In my case, I had my dad buy me a plane ticket to Melbourne. I arrived completely ready to help with those cute animals. Turns out the fires were actually in New South Wales, which is crazy — I guess I didn’t really realize there were other parts of Australia. I also found out they don’t let just anyone help with the animals. I eventually just came back home because what else was I gonna do? Help out at a homeless shelter?
I actually have a deep and personal connection with Australia because I studied abroad there for a quarter. Although I had to come home a couple months early, I immersed myself in the culture. It’s definitely my second home now. Even though I wasn’t able to fight the fire first-hand like I had planned, I think I did my part by posting the same photoshopped photo onto my Insta story everyday for the past two weeks. You know, just in case someone still didn’t know about it.
If you want to do your part, you can also adopt a quokka from Australia! They are the cutest animal from Australia. I adopted mine a couple weeks ago and it was much cheaper than I thought it was gonna be. I can’t wait to get mine, it’s gonna look so cute in selfies.
Counterpoint:
Okay, but First Can We Stop Those Men From Wearing Shorts That are Too Short
Fashion Influencer
It’s, like, so sad what’s going on down there. Just thinking about how everyone’s losing their homes absolutely crushes me. But I think we need to focus on the important issues. Like who told Australian men that those swim trunks are okay? They are so incredibly short, it’s a hazard. I shouldn’t have to be subjected to that visual when I’m trying to chill at the beach. Seeing something like that has the potential to ruin your whole day. Who even thought that was okay when they were designing it? Like did they run out of fabric?
The aesthetics to an outfit like that are all off; a four-inch pant length is not gonna balance out a shirt at all. It’s a fashion travesty! I don’t expect everyone to be well versed in the laws of fashion, but we need to do our part to make sure those shorts don’t get into the wrong hands.
People have told me that I’m being insensitive to the issue at hand, but I’m definitely doing the important work here. No one else is talking about it, and one of us had to address the matter at hand. If you think I’m being shallow, all I have to say is think about the koalas and kangaroos that have to look at a man’s balls almost dangling out of his “shorts.” They are already fighting for their lives, do you want them to go blind too?
Look, at the end of the day a fire is a fire, it’ll eventually burn out. But something like this could plague the world forever. How am I supposed to go on knowing that somewhere in the world someone is wearing those ugly-ass shorts in public with complete confidence? It doesn’t matter how hot Australia gets, shorts that shorts will never be okay.
