Top Ten Reasons The Queen of England Is Holding Out On Dying

10. She’s rich, so unlike you she has access to healthcare
11. She’s waiting for the Simpsons to do it first
12. She’s not quite done with her GEs and she needs an extra year
13. Her immune system already voted “Leave,” but legislation is slow
14. At one point she was the youngest person in the world, so she thinks it’d be cool to get the other one
15. She’s waiting for Mary Berry to come back to the Great British Bake-Off
16. Dying is kind of subjective when you have a thousand more of you growing in a vat
17. She’s waiting for someone to find her
    treasure map, so she can give a really vague hint on her deathbed
18. She still hasn’t fulfilled her lifelong goal of wearing every hat in the world
19. She’s spiting the Irish