Volume 23 Issue 1

ArticlesNewsTech

Apple CEO Haunted by iPhone 7 Feedback, Steve Jobs’ Ghost

Written by: Cole Greenbaun

Just two weeks after Apple’s September 2016 Keynote, the newly announced iPhone 7 has been met with negative feedback due to the phone’s lack of headphone …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Libertarian Party Polls at Record Highs, Nobody Notices

Written by: The MQ

Recent polls show Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson polling at an earth-shattering 13 percent versus Democratic and Republican candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, respectively. “This is …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Dakota Pipeline Helpfully Threatens Native Lands

Written by: The MQ

Energy Transfer’s Dakota Access Pipeline, a projected crude oil pipe spanning North and South Dakota, Iowa, and Illinois, has received great praise in recent weeks for …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Tornado Unfairly Redistricts Communities, Republicans Say

Written by: Barak Tzori

Tragedy struck mainland Iowa this week when the worst tornado in recent history ripped its way through Madison and Des Moines. However, some are saying that …

ArticlesNews

Only Good Roles for Actresses Over 50 are as Asian Men, Tilda Swinton Shows

Written by: The MQ

As Doctor Strange is set for release in early November, with a projected opening weekend box office in the hundred millions, more actresses are realizing that …

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Recently Reopened Planned Parenthood Re-closed

Written by: Summer Davis

The national debate over reproductive rights took yet another unexpected turn as a Texas abortion clinic was re-closed for the 47th time since its opening in …

ArticlesCampusNews

Student Happy to Spend Entire Summer and Bank Account on Internship

Written by: The MQ

As the academic year starts again at UCSD, most returning students will be entering the lecture halls, reminiscing with their friends and sharing tales of traveling, …

ArticlesLocalNews

Man Gets Athlete’s Foot, Finds It in His Mailbox

Written by: Cole Greenbaun

This past week, area man Chris Ella found himself quite perplexed. Although he kept himself and his environment very clean, Ella was self-diagnosed with an athlete’s …

ArticlesNews

FDA Approves Dave’s Thursday Night Plans to “Hang with the Guys”

Written by: Barak Tzori

This week, the Food and Drug Administration approved pharmaceutical CEO Dave Forfa’s plans to “just go grab some wings and catch the game” this upcoming Thursday. …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

That Rainbow in the Sky is Too Radical

Written by: The MQ

I saw a rainbow in the sky yesterday, right in between a cloud and a patch of blue, and I’m not saying I have a problem …