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I Need to Keep Renovating
I recently bought a house and with it began a brand new chapter of my life. I’m so excited to live in this big, beautiful home, …
White House Announces New Quarantine Guidelines
“No bulletproof vest for my child, please — they cause autism,” said one anti-vester.Photo by Ezra Bihis & David Muñoz After Saturday’s mass shooting, White House …
‘Performative Male’ Democrat Delivers Performative Filibuster
“The female form is just a work of art, y’know?” said Booker. “It should be worshipped.”Photo by Dylan Schmidt In an attempt to “connect with the …
National Men’s Day Declared Federal Holiday
Deodorant futures will reportedly plummet.Photo by Abby Offenhauser Following massive uproar on X, formerly known as Twitter, from the newly created “#MenToo” movement, the United States …
Unexplained Virus Plagues Southeast San Diego Communities
“Why can’t these damn civilians stay calm?!” shouted one cop, scratching his head with his gun.”Photo by David Muñoz After the “GENTRI-5” virus began spreading in …
I Have Somethin’ Very Important to Say
Listen, I want you to sit down when I tell you this. I’ll wait. Make sure you’re all nice ‘n’ comfy and your seatbelt’s strapped an’ …
64 Degrees Rebrands to ‘65 Degrees’ Due to Climate Change
“I just need to wait a little longer, and then I can come visit!” said one mermaid.”Photo by Destiney Friday and Amit Roth In response to …
