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Student Finds Four-Leaf Clover on Sun God Lawn, Wins Zoom Meeting With Leprechaun
“Ten more minutes and I’m lepre-GONE,” grumbled the leprechaun.Photo By Julia Wong Earlier this week, third-year UCSD student Stacey Greene was taking a break from her …
No, I Won’t Close My Tabs, They All Have Really Important Stuff on Them
You will never get me to close my tabs. Every single one of them has vitally important content. What if I need to reference the WikiHow …
Posers Are Horrible and Ruin the Scene for Everybody Vs. I Am Having So Much Fun and Everyone Likes Me!
Point: Posers Are Horrible and Ruin the Scene for Everybody Everybody knows there’s nothing worse than a pretentious little braggart that thinks they know what they’re …
Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
10. Cumin9. Do it in bed8. A scoreboard and referee7. Surprise circumcision6. Speaking strictly in early modern English5. An elaborate pulley mechanism that eliminates any need …
Top Ten Candle Scents
Top Ten Candle Scents Teen spirit Burnt toast Freshly cut gas line Your fifth-grade classroom The weird ice in the back of the freezer that your …
Susan Bagel: Cheesecake
It was a good day today — at least, it seemed so at first. My afternoon was free, so I decided to do a little self-care. …
Philosophy Student Mistakes Thought for Mind-Blowing Epiphany
Michael of Temecula recently took his Minions out to dinner, only to complain, “This is the last supper! You guys cost way too much money.”Photo By …
Bean Bag Shipments to Russia Halted in Support of Ukraine
Following the Russian Army’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Mr. Charles Dawkins, CEO of the furniture company Crockery Farm, has announced that bean bag chairs will no …
White People Can Handle Spicy Food and You’re Going to Watch Me Prove It
Hey guys! Welcome back to another challenge video. Now, you may have heard the misconception that White people can’t handle spicy foods, so we here at …
Local Journalist Slammed for Using Snow Cones Instead of Snowclones
San Diego journalist Canderson Hooper has come under fire for bringing snow cones to work instead of writing “mindless drivel” through using snowclones. His boss, Calter …
