27.7
The MQ Delicately Sniffles into a Handkerchief and Bids a Teary Farewell to Our Graduating Editors
As the year comes to a close, The MQ wants to honor those among us whose time at UCSD is ending. While we couldn’t find a good way to express our admiration and respect for them, we figured making fun of them should suffice. We present to you The MQ’s graduating editors, featuring actual words they’ve said during MQ meetings.
Trader Joe’s Bag Begs for Recycling
Trader Joe’s Bag Begs for Recycling A paper bag recently used to carry one bottle of Chardonnay out of a Trader Joe’s is now resting under …
Thoughts from the Hostess Table
Thoughts from the Hostess Table After being in a pandemic, living in the darkness of my haunted house, and letting my once juicy, voluptuous buttocks decay …
Diversity Hire Brian, 67, Speaks on His Work at Forever 21
Diversity Hire Brian, 67, Speaks on His Work at Forever 21 Brian Ainsent, who commenced his retirement five years ago, recently began looking for a new …
Local Student Is on Edge of Being on Edge
Local Student Is on Edge of Being on Edge Bingus Bunggus has reported staring at the desktop of their computer for three days as their encroaching …
Pepsi Releases New European Line: Pepoui
Pepsi Releases New European Line: Pepoui European citizens and Pepsi enthusiasts alike are rejoicing at the new release of a French-themed take on the American soft …
Smuckers Uncrustables Recrusted
Smuckers Uncrustables Recrusted Smuckers has announced that their beloved Uncrustables will now be sold with crusts. This step is part of Smuckers’ vast rebranding campaign, which …
