Scientists Prove You Should Buy a Gemini a Goose Sweater New research from the University of Asking Indirectly for What You Want revealed that a person’s …

Chargers Coach “Finally” Figures Out How to Not Lose Close Games After years of having the worst record in the NFL in one-score games, including multiple …

The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence According to the latest reports from the CIA, the ubiquitous “Jack” commonly referred to …

Local Phantom Kicked Out of Opera for Ineffective Mask A regular guest of the Paris Opera House known as “The Phantom of the Opera” was recently …

Buddy the Elf Passes Bathroom Singing Bill December 3 marked the passing of the Singing Rights Bill in the Senate. The bill, proposed by North Pole …

Leftist Suffers Brain Damage Seeing “More Lib Shit On Twitter” Twitter user @GayRevolverOcelot tweeted that they committed themselves to the local clinic, claiming they suffered brain …

Silent Majority Finally Feels Safe Enough to Say Nothing After last week’s record time confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, the silent moral majority …

Political Science Class Constructs Left-leaning Tower of Piazza A Piazza forum formed by students of POLI 104A to discuss class materials has recently been identified to …

Local Woman Rage Quits Over Van Incident This past weekend, local congresswoman Chessy Bengal held a rally for the upcoming election in hopes to secure a …

“World’s Best Grandma” Card Written in 2007 Still Holds Up In 2007, Meghan Cax, who was six years old at the time, wrote a card for …