Articles
Allowing You to Ride Me for Free Doesn’t Mean I Want Your Sweaty Hands and Feet
Human students of UC San Diego, we have decided it is time for us elevators to rise to the occasion. We opened our doors to kindness, …
Eighth College Mandates Construction GE Beginning Fall Quarter
“I heard this was a really easy class,” said one Eighth College student, “but the hats are so hard.”Photo by Sharon Roth and Connor Betterly In …
UCSD Cuts Costs by Hiring Giant Eyeball to Proctor Exams
“It’s a lie,” said one student. “If someone dies during the test, you don’t automatically get an A.”Photo by Amit Roth As students walk into their …
UCSD Biology Debuts Discussion Sections with 300 Students
“Let’s get that kiss cam goin’!” exclaimed one student.Photo by Sharon Roth The Epstein Family Amphitheater hosted the Department of Biological Sciences’ Shame ’n’ Sack Showdown …
MLB Hires Striking TV Show Writers
“I’m gonna be great at this whole baseball thing,” said one writer. “I’ve already nailed my opening pitch.”Photo by Jacob King and Maria Dhilla Shortly after …
Pluto Violates Subscription Terms, Loses Planetary Status
“They ripped me off,” said Jupiter. “I paid for a whole year’s subscription, but they only gave me 365 days.”Photo by Julia Wong When Pluto first …
Famous Star Canceled for Creating Nuclear Power Plant
“Getting a chance to sit down and talk with the Sun was enlightening,” said one journalist. “They’re not as bright as they seem.”Photo by Sharon Roth …
Professional Sports Have Become Predictable
What’s the deal with sports these days? When I was a kid, there were still new narratives and new agendas being pushed. We had Michael Jordan …
Professors Start Evaluating Students Through New GRADE Program
UC San Diego is currently considering ways to incorporate GRADEs into students’ cumulative GPAs.Photo by Maria Dhilla After experiencing success with the CAPE program, professors have …
GPT-5 Beats Kobayashi Maru Test, Joins Admiral Kirk
“I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t beam you up right now,” said CadetGPT.Photo by Maria Dhilla On May 26, OpenAI announced the completion of their GPT-5 large …
