Articles
Marshall Student Gets ‘Just OK’ Haircut
“Get 11 haircuts and your 12th one is the same price as the other 11! Wouldn’t want youto stand out,” said one local barber.Photo by Liv …
Ohio Does NOT Claim JD Vance
Now I don’t usually comment on politics, but something must be said about Senator Vance. In the Midwestern spirit of sharing hotdish ’fore dishing it out, …
Separated Couple Fights Over Divorce Attorney
“The scales of justice swing both ways,” said Bernice Parentson.Photo by Theo Erickson A recent string of anonymous forum posts on a legal advice website have …
This School Puts Us in Boxes
I don’t mean this in a metaphorical way. The email will tell you that you’re being summoned to the “Box Room” at once. When it does, …
There Is No Ethical Investing vs. Suck My Penis-Shaped NFT
POINT: There Is No Ethical Investing I’ve always been dubious about anything that’s supposedly “free.” I glare at the “free” samples at Costco and swat away …
UCSD to Hold Crow-Killing Event for Halloween
“Actually, I’m pretty sure these are ravens,” said ornithologist Richard Roper.Photo by Dylan Schmidt This Sunday, Vice Chancellor Alistar Ornth announced that UC San Diego would …
Boeing ‘Nearly Fucked’
The new Boeing 737s will reportedly feature coin slots which must be continuouslyfed in order to keep the plane in the air.Photo by Liv Gilbert Amidst …
I Killed Journalism
I killed it. Yup… it was me. Every time I clicked on a Washington Post article and I was refused entry, I slowly held the pillow …
Police Forbid Hunting and Gathering in Wake of Hurricane
“You think hunting and gathering is bad?” said one police officer. “Some of these sickos are growingtheir own crops!”Photo by Liv Gilbert In the aftermath of …
Geisel Library Hours Cut to 27 Minutes Per Week
According to a recent report, the number of books being borrowed from the library has remained unaffected.Photo by Liv Gilbert Effective this school year, UC San …
