Separated Couple Fights Over Divorce Attorney

ArticlesNews

Written by: Morris Custodes

“The scales of justice swing both ways,” said Bernice Parentson.
Photo by Theo Erickson

A recent string of anonymous forum posts on a legal advice website have been tracked down to Bernice Parentson, a local acclaimed divorce attorney. The posts expressed Parentson’s struggle of choosing between two unnamed clients, whose identities were also soon found. Newly separated couple Martha Kettle and Grayson Pot have each independently made numerous attempts to win Parentson over, hoping that she will take their case.

“I’m doing what I need to do to get custody of my children,” said Kettle. “Grayson is far from being a competent or reasonable parent. He should not and will not be around my girls.” In response, Pot had the following to say: “Martha is a terrible parent and there’s no way in hell I’m letting her raise my kids.”

Parentson’s forum posts have been extensively detailed regarding her encounters with Pot and Kettle. “It’s always screaming matches whenever I see the two of them together,” says Parentson. “I have Pot making fun of Kettle for her funny haircut — as soon as he walks out the door, Kettle turns to me and says something or the other about Pot’s hairline. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Apparently, neither Pot nor Kettle were informed of Parentson’s good reputation in court prior to their quarrel. “She’s famous? Oh, that’s cool, I guess,” said Kettle. “All I heard was that Grayson wanted her as his lawyer, and I saw a chance to make sure he doesn’t get what he wants.” Pot described a similar experience: “I hadn’t heard her name ’til I learned Martha was looking for her.”

Ever since the couple first learned of Parentson, their feud has only intensified. Relatives and family friends have testified to witnessing Pot and Kettle giving Parentson increasingly elaborate gifts. “Last week, Kettle showed up at my house with a trunk full of toys and video games,” said Parentson. “She tells me it’s out of her ‘unending conditional love for me’ and that she has no ulterior motives except making me represent her in court.” Witnesses report that as Kettle pulled out of the driveway, she was rear-ended by Pot in a truck full of the same gifts.

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip her or anything like Martha is,” says Pot. “But after everything I’ve given her, isn’t taking my case the least she can do in return?” Kettle disagreed. “Grayson is totally trying to woo Bernice. But not me! I did what I did out of the kindness in my heart. It’s not manipulation if I tell her I don’t mean it that way.”

Parentson has also been invited by both parties for dinner on the same night. According to Kettle, “This is my way of preemptively thanking her for helping me out and being there for me through this process. I can’t wait to see the look on Grayson’s face when she realizes that the lawyer likes me more.” However, Parentson decided to accept Pot’s invitation. She had the following to say about her experience: “Pot spent the entire night badmouthing Kettle. Then he would ask me if I agreed, and I only prodded him along because I felt bad about eating his food. I won’t reveal the specifics, but by the end of the night I only had a worse opinion of the both of them.”

After careful deliberation, Parentson has decided to turn both parties down. “I feel like this is a mess I’d rather stay out of,” she said. “After I contacted them, both showed up at my house again that afternoon asking for their presents back.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *