Politics
Liberals Call for ‘Full Commitment’ in National Celebration of Ides of March
During such political and social turmoil, many liberals are appealing to classical works and traditions in order to find peace and purpose. This year, liberal leadership …
Puerto Rico Chosen for Trump’s “Most Dangerous Game”
The first few months of the Trump presidency have not been without controversy, and a recently signed executive order has sparked even more conversation surrounding the …
Frederick Douglass Continues to Elude Trump Administration
In the past week, a news leak from the White House has shown that the Trump administration reportedly attempted to bring in Frederick Douglass to speak …
Trump Uses Phone-a-Friend Option Sooner than Expected
Donald Trump was reportedly “on edge” from recent connections drawn between his administration and Russia, an unprecedented move which led to Trump using his Phone-a-Friend option. …
Lana Del Rey Revealed to be “Witch Queen” after Casting Binding Spell on Trump
Grammy-nominated pop singer Lana Del Rey, after participating in the world wide witches’ binding spell against President Donald Trump, has revealed her True Form as the …
Climate Change Denier Found under Rock, Appointed to Head of EPA
Local business owner Earl Coombs was found early last Monday after having gone missing nearly 32 years ago under a large boulder in Yosemite National Park. …
V.P. Pence Changes Name to “1.24 Cents,” Inspires Patriotism
Last Thursday, Vice President Mike Pence finalized his name change from Mike Pence to Mike 1.24 Cents. When asked about the change, 1.24 Cents replied, “It’s …
Sean Spicer Disappears, Found Digging Under White House
Panic struck the White House last week when it was discovered that Sean Spicer, the newly appointed Press Secretary of the Trump Administration, had gone missing. …
Iranians Trapped by Travel Ban Plan to “‘Argo’ This Shit”
President Trump’s January 27 executive order, which barred entry into the US for citizens of seven predominantly Muslim nations, including Iran, has already caused a wide …
Filipino Senate Calls for Peaceful Removal of President Duterte’s Head
The Filipino Senate passed a joint resolution last Friday calling for the peaceful removal of the President Duterte’s head from office and corpus. The unilateral decision …