News
Student Pissed-Off That God Gives Meaning of Life Instead of Helping Pass Final
“Fuck God and morality, I just need that A,” said Manson.Photo by Jack Yang Kenneth Manson, formerly an atheist, has recently declared his “hatred for God.” Manson’s …
Local Student Outraged That Nobody Cares He is TikTok Famous
After the incident, Adamec received an endorsement offer from IHOP.Photo by Jade Coniglio There was an incident at the La Jolla Denny’s last Friday when servers …
Man Only Wears Designer “Supreme” Streetwear After Near-God Experience
In response to Lee’s new perspective on life, God said, “Let your wallet be light.”Photo by Sharon Roth Second-year UCSD student Joseph Lee has gained notoriety …
Increase of Missing Hydro Flasks as “WSCO” Cult Expands
The pictured thief reportedly got away from the scene by disappearing into a huge cloud of paper straws.Photo by Jack Yang Amber Alerts across the UCSD campus …
UCSD and MTS to Introduce A, B, S, & D Transit Passes
“I thought San Diego had a really good public transit system, but they really just threw us under the bus,” shared a student.Photo by Jay Noonan …
UCSD Student in DEI Lecture Looks Forward to Making Casually Racist Comment
Magdalin “immediately regretted” making attendance mandatory.Photo by Jack Yang Early this morning a group of UCSD students contacted university officials with concerns that a fellow classmate …
White House Hires Plumber to Fix Leaks
“No offense to my boss, but duct tape can’t really fix these leaks,” said Secretary Stewart. Photo by Jade Coniglio White House Chief of Staff Mick …
Sorority Girls Experience Near Death on Local Torrey Pines Hike
“If we get out of here alive, I swear we’re gonna take that trip to Spain,” Fillis said to Stutten.Photo by Jay Noonan Sorority sisters Jessica …
Lab Students Upset That Wearing Lab Coats Does Not Improve Midterm Scores
“But they emphasized PPE so much during lecture!” said Kartashev.Photo by Jack Yang This past Monday UCSD was “filled with shouts of incredulity and misery” as …
UCSD Claims $20,000 Tuition Hike a “Spooky-Season Prank”
Despite publishing the tuition hike as a prank video, Khosla did not go viral, nor increase his subscriber count.Photo by Jack Yang UCSD has recently backtracked …
