Campus
Researchers Prove Center Hall Chairs Combat Student Sleeping Epidemic
“We will not stand for this,” said one member of Tritons Against Torture. “We’re going to host a sit-in.”Photo by Maria Dhilla After months of tedious research, …
Theology Professor Criticized for Requiring Students to Buy Bibles with Access Codes
“I took an abridged version of this course by just staring at the Vices and Virtues building for three hours,” stated Peter.Photo by Chiara Ng Earlier …
UCSD Invests in Alarm Clock System Disguised as Construction
“Ever since this construction, I’ve been having really vivid dreams of two Transformers going at it,” said Hertz.Photo by Julia Wong Throughout campus, students at UCSD …
La Jolla Family Rents Out Doghouse to UCSD Student Amidst Housing Crisis
“I like having the extra money,” said Mrs. MacInson. “But I no longer have a place to send my husband to when he messes around with …
UC Regents Evacuates UCSD, Raccoon Insurgency Rises to Power
“One man’s trash is another man’s missile defense system,” said Drake.Photo by Sharon Roth Uncertainty and fear struck the hearts of the UCSD community as UC Regents …
UCSD Spam Quarantine Email Name to be Changed “Out of Respect” for Past Events
“Any student who mentions the email will be put in isolation for 40 days,” threatened Khosla.Photo by Robin Brewin This past Saturday, a private meeting to …
UCSD Turns Class Selection Process Into a Gacha Game
“It’s like this thing is rigged so that I don’t get what I want,” complained one student.Photo by Jack Yang In an effort to make the class …
San Diego Vaccination Site Incentivizes Vaccine with Barrels of Funfetti Frosting
“Getting vaccinated sure is addicting,” said Schmobby. “I’m already on my third card.”Photo by Robin Brewin With COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations on the rise, local governments …
Raccoon Cult Offers UCSD Students Secure Housing
Some students claim to have witnessed a demonic possession, but it was just a case of rabies.Photo by Maria Dhilla With over 50,000 admitted students and a …
UCSD to Give Out Commemorative Tents to Students as a Solution for the Housing Crisis
“As a Muir student, I’m really digging the return to nature. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss running water,” admitted Bartlett.Photo by …
