Kaz Nuckowski
According to ISS Reports, The United States “Looks Purple From Space”
The discovery that the US is purple came completely out of the blue.Photo by Sharon Roth A new revolutionary technology developed by NASA capable of detecting and …
Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote
Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …
Silent Majority Finally Feels Safe Enough to Say Nothing
Silent Majority Finally Feels Safe Enough to Say Nothing After last week’s record time confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, the silent moral majority …
New Super Political Compass U
Did you know Goomba was a closeted Republican? I sure didn’t. Come check out where your favorite Mario characters lie on the political spectrum.
Florida Man Goes Inside for the First Time in Months
When asked about his pet alligator, Florida Man remarked, “Gator? I hardly know her!”Photo by Andrew Sitko The subject of many reporters’ interest and psychologists’ bafflement, Florida …
Christian Man Once Again Asserts “Judeo”-Christian Values
Christian Man Once Again Asserts “Judeo”-Christian Values In an attempt to assert his faith during a discussion about the “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” debate, local …
Local Student Prophesizes “Total Apocalypse” if Regents Switch to Semester System
Kovalenko reportedly has lost “ample amounts of money” because he insists on paying cash but refuses to accept change.Photo by Sharon Roth In a public statement, …
The Finals Metamorphosis
The Finals Metamorphosis
By Kaz Nuckowski
Best Actor Goes to a White Man for the First Time Since 2018
Best Actor Goes to a White Man for the First Time Since 2018 In radical recognition of the diversity of white talent in the modern film …
