Top Ten

Top Ten Strange But True Facts

10. There are five bison left on Earth9. Octopi are both a fish and vegetable8. Stop signs with white borders are optional7. Elephants are more likely …

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UCSD Mandates ‘Severance Procedure’ for All Students

“They say you shouldn’t dream of schoolwork, now I don’t live it either,” said Scott.Photo by Dylan Schmidt In light of current events, UC San Diego …

Luka Dončić Finds Love on First Date with Lebron James

“A fifth ring for you, Luka,” said James.Photo by Liv Gilbert National Basketball Association (NBA) fans were shocked by a trade that is predicted to impact …

Help! My Roommate was Wounded by a Strange Creature! vs. There Is No Strange Creature

Point: Help! My Roommate was Wounded by a Strange Creature! Last night, my roommate — let’s call her Jane — came back from an 8 p.m. …

Running the Numbers

The MQ’s Self-Help Book

The MQ’s Laboratory

Early Spring Horoscopes

Yellowface Returns to Hollywood

Zwick insists, Korean or not, that his movies have Seoul.Photo by Janice Kim Last week, Hollywood director Don Zwick reignited controversy over his latest film, a …

State to Become Church

“What if thy neighbor is a Democrat?” asked Alito.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following a 233-year-long separation, Church and State reunited in the US Department of Justice …

Bathroom Partitions Unite Partisan Politics

“We may not be able to reach across the isle, but we sure can reach across the stall,”said one bathroom-goer.Photo by Justin Xu Recently, a proposed …

Mexico Renames Mall of America

“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Liv Gilbert Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum announced that Mexico will be …

UCSD to Replace Methane Burning Power Plant with Coal

“The ’20s are back! The 1820’s, that is,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Last week, UC San Diego reaffirmed its continued commitment to protecting the …

Democrats Deny Existence of Trump

“It’s pretty crazy that we don’t have a President, but I guess we’ll make do,” said one Democrat.Photo by Dylan Schmidt With Republicans controlling all branches …

The Students v. UC San Diego

“Why do people keep telling me not to Google ‘hung jury’?” asked one juror.Photo by Amit Roth After the filing of a class-action lawsuit in early …

Comics

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Online Exclusives

Wait, You Guys Already Had Your Enrollment Times?

So, here’s the issue. I was under the impression that class enrollment just hadn’t happened for anyone yet. Because when enrollment times came out and WebReg …

Cut-Out Valentines (BONUS!)

Taylor Swift Overcomes Cult of Personality and Industry Monopoly to Top the Charts

Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poet’s Department was met with mixed reviews from critics and broad commercial success when it debuted on April 19. “All 32 songs …