Volume 30 Issue 7
Wells Fargo Turns To E-Banking
Struggles with data fishing
UCSD Construction Cranes Named New Official Mascot
“The future of our school mascot is up in the air — 265 feet, to be exact,” said Douglas Upton.Photo by Kai Nguyen The Stuart Art …
DEA Updates Official Classification of Marijuana: ‘It’s Just a Plant, Bro’
“I’m almost as high as the defense budget,” said one DEA agent.Photo by Dylan Schmidt In a press release this morning, the US Drug Enforcement Administration …
Anyone Who Has Ever Had a Drop of Alcohol Is Going Straight to Hell vs It’s Not Alcoholism if You’re in College
POINT: Anyone Who Has Ever Had a Drop of Alcohol Is Going Straight to Hell You children these days are all fools. You lot are always …
I Can’t Believe It’s My Last Hot Girl Summer vs Thou Shalt Have No Harvest
POINT: I Can’t Believe It’s My Last Hot Girl Summer Five years gone. They really snuck up on me. Is this really the last summer I’ll …
Students Found to Use Pythagorean Theorem Daily
“I thought trigonometry would be just as fun as the Pythagorean theorem, but it was just SOH-SOH,” said Abby Tuse.Photo by Amit Roth A recent poll …
UCLA Invites Dick Cheney for Commencement Speech
“I heard Dick Cheney made money off the Iraq War,” said Al Gore. “Ain’t that an inconvenient truth?”Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Two former vice presidents will …
