Volume 30 Issue 1


Student Sealed Away, Shredded, Thrown Into Ocean

Written by: Katie Campbell

Following a controversial Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament at a San Diego game store, UC San Diego student Keto Saiba was accused of using banned cards in his Exodia …


Local Man Buys Clown Shoes,Insists He is “Not A Clown”

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski and Dylan Jaide White

Self-described “human adult man” Robert “Bobo” Honkson has once again denied accusations that he is a clown. Recent evidence submitted to San Diego courts was described …


Personal Carbon Electrolyzers May Solve Climate Crisis

Written by: Amit Roth

From the makers of the Veritas 800 Marine 30 lubricant comes Chevron’s Carbon Electrolyzer, a machine able to “cleanly break down” CO2. “We have compacted our …


RIMAC to Replace All Dumbbells With Shake Weights

Written by: Liv Gilbert

“These weights may suck, but at least I can make a protein shake with them,” said Jim Ratt.Photo by Millie You UC San Diego Recreation announced …


Inedible Arrangements CEO Becomes World’s First Trillionaire

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Inedible Arrangements CEO Honey Dew became the world’s first trillionaire after her flower startup’s stock became the most traded stock in NASDAQ history. The stock’s meteoric …


Home Chef Invents Three-Day PB&J Recipe

Written by: Erin Yao

“People will be so peanut butter and jealous when they see your great meal!” said Lennon Zest.Photo by Amit Roth While many professional chefs experiment with …


Mutated Sea Life Takes Over Coast Following Japanese Release of Treated Radioactive Water

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“These plants show an appalling amount of sentience. I’m not sure what I’m gonna live off of,” said one vegan resident.Photo by Millie You On August …


UCSD Offers First Quantitative Sheep Studies Course

Written by: Everett Ririe

This quarter, UC San Diego began offering BAA 1: Quantitative Sheep Studies, a course to educate students on numerical methods for sheep counting. However, after only …

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What Kind of Roommate are You?

Written by: The MQ

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The MQ’s Collection of Summer Souvenirs

Written by: The MQ