Volume 27 Issue 7
Susan’s Foolproof Bagels
Gluten Tag! Welcome to the latest edition of Susan’s mostly-baking-but-really-just-a-venting-session Baking Blog where she tackles Bagels (and the encroachment of loneliness into her life)
Video Game Journalist Learns to Jump During Final Boss Battle
Lee stated, “This game’s characters are so hard to follow. I don’t know who to pick — Singleplayer or Co-op?”Photo by Jack Yang While working on a …
Oh the Places You’ll Go! (After You Move Back In with Your Parents)
As I look out upon my novelty calendar featuring inspirational cat photos, I am reminded that I have not a fortnight before I don my gown …
Italian Populace Celebrates 25 Years Since the Eruption of Pompeii
“Magma mia, that’s a spicy volcano!” said Giuseppe.Photo by Sharon Roth Historical anniversaries are often met with mixed emotions, but the tragic eruption that occurred in Pompeii, …
Violent Clashes Occur as UCPD Shuts Down Unsanctioned Open Mic
“Man, I hate having to get bailed out by my parents. So embarrassing,” said Leigh.Photo by Maria Dhilla At 5:00 p.m. on Friday, May 14, a crowd …
Snickering Researchers Warn of New Threat Posed by Updog
Scientists have looked up high and down low, but unfortunately they have been too slow to catch the mysterious Updog.Photo by Maria Dhilla According to several extensive …
New Dystopian Factions Emerge From Fanatical Vaccine Recipients
When asked about anti-vaxxers, both sides stated, “Do not speak to us of the heretics — the non-believers. Even a false god is better than none.”Photo …
UCSD Senior “Living in Hell,” Doing Everything Except Schoolwork
“The only thing I’m pro at is procrastination,” said Adani.Photo by Maria Dhilla As the summer approaches, UCSD seniors have shown a rise in therapy appointments and …
Stickman Stuck at Dead-end Job
Has no exit strategy
Local Man Claims Cereal Box Art Made Him a Furry
Fox says, “It’s not just a meal, mom.”Photo by Sharon Roth George Fox, a 21-year-old San Diegan and avid fan of breakfast cereal, claims that his love …
